If i didn't exist

If I didn't exist, would it make a difference?

If I didn't exist, would anyone miss me?

If I didn't exist, would people have fewer problems?

If I didn't exist, how fast would it go before I was exchanged?

If, if, if ... 😣💔

So many "ifs" and yet no answer. But on days like today, I would have liked to answer. Because I feel like I am meaningless. Because people pass over me like I don't exist.

I've seen people come and go this year. And all those who have left my life have had no problem leaving me behind. It felt more like they were shedding a burden that had lasted for years. And that's not a nice feeling.

Because through such people I always have the feeling that I am bothering and annoying others with my mere presence. This is probably not the case. I am probably even loved for who I am.

But I'm too scared to trust it. Because a person who is injured and broken every time anew becomes more anxious and unstable. He begins to doubt himself and his behavior. Although the person is actually a really great one. He just lost the ability to trust himself and see his own worth every time he was torn to pieces.

And losing faith in yourself is a terrible feeling. Because if you don't even believe in yourself, who should do it?

Therefore try to bundle all your negative thoughts and feelings and convey them into the hereafter. Don't let them get the upper hand. Ignore the bad thoughts that are trying to convince you that you are nothing special. Focus on the people who are REALLY good with you. Even if it won't be easy on some days. But these days also go by. You just have to ask yourself the question: "Who do you pay attention to? The good or the bad thoughts?" Which ones get you ahead at the end of the day?

If you didn't exist, I wouldn't believe there's good kind hearted people anymore.

If you didn't exist, I wouldn't believe there's someone can be so pure to see purety in everyone.

If you didn't exist, I wouldn't believe, to believe anyone again

If you didn't exist, I wouldn't believe, to believe myself too.

You gave me strength, hope, positivity and the goodness to be 

believed.

You make me feel free, relaxed and safe to share everything I'm feeling.

You make it worth waiting to get to the end of the day and talk about how it goes.

You make it so easy for me to be really honest with you.

If u didn't existed, I wouldn't believe someone can be as beautiful from the inside too as they are from the outside.

If u didn't existed, I'm sure I would still miss you! ❤️

You see there are always two sides. You think nobody would miss you. But in reality it would hurt someone else deeply if it weren't for you. You are so precious to at least one person on this earth. Isn't that reason enough to live?

Dear Gaurav, thank you very much for completing my blog 🙏 💙