Not you!

 You lay there on my bed 

With your arms around me like old times 

Your scent was ever so strong 

Musky yet delicate 

With a hint of some Indian spice 

You had your eyes set on the ceiling 

Avoiding my gaze 

Almost as if you knew.

That I'd ask you for a kiss.

And you wanted to say no.

We spoke only a few words that day 

But I understood plenty.

Your indifference was a conversation on its own.

A silent, heartfelt apology 

For wanting to leave me behind.

I lay there in your arms

Holding onto you for a little longer 

Ever so calm and silent 

With wars raging inside me

Mourning

Weeping

Screaming

 "I could lose everything

But not you Oh god!

Not you!"